Hate

"Hate is the root of your power--what is it that you hate?"

"I hate the soldiers who destroyed my world--the ones who slaughtered my family...the ones who stole everything from me!"

"Your anger, your sorrow, your pain...all of it is only fuel for your hate--so again, I ask you...what is it that you hate?"

"I hate the goddess who abandoned her people!! What merciful and loving deity lets her followers be slaughtered like common beasts by their enemies?!"

"What is it that keeps you awake? What is it that torments your every moment of breath--what is it that you hate the most?"

"...Myself."

"...Yourself?"

"The soldiers...I can kill--I can slaughter them as they slaughtered my village...I can destroy them! My people's goddess...I can turn my back on--I can ignore the preachings and what others tell me. I hate all of them...but...I hate myself more than anything."

"Why do you hate yourself?"

"I...I cannot look at myself in a mirror--not because of the scars, but because I cannot bear to see what kind of creature I am. No matter how others try to 'pretty up' the situation--calling me an "executioner", a "protector"--they cannot hide the fact that all that I am is a cold-blooded killer...a blood-stained murderer. I am as jaded as Death--uncaring for the lives that I take...I remember their faces, but I do not regret ending their lives. At the times, I enjoyed it...and that...that makes me sick to my core."

"...Is that your final answer?"

"..Yes. There is nothing in this world that I hate more than myself."

"What is it that you desire?"

"Redemption...salvation...absolution--call it whatever you wish, but that is what I desire! I desire someone to look at all that I have done--look at all of the blood covering my hands...and I want them to accept it and forgive me for it. I do not want them to ignore it or look past it...I want them to forgive me for the monster that I am and forgive me for everything that I have done, because I do not have the will to forgive myself. "

"Do you believe that you deserve forgiveness?"

"I...do not. I have hunted and slain so many--my hands are stained black with the amount of blood that I have spilt in my thirst for vengeance. I...I have let myself become consumed by my bloodlust--walking a razor's edge with no care whether I fall or not. Even if I could go back in time and stop myself, knowing that my bloodlust would turn me into everything that I despise...I know that I would not."

"Then...why should you be granted forgiveness for your hatred?"

"Because...I cannot live without it. The hatred drives me on and, for so long, the hate was all that I had to cling to...but now...what I once was hates what I have become...and I hate everything that I have done. Someone to forgive me for my sins--someone to grant me the peace of mind that I need to finally sate the nightmares in my head...I need that forgiveness or I will surely kill myself just to stop the monster that I have become."